Being single: did you put your life on hold?

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For some unknown to me reasons, we perceive being single as there is something wrong with us. We feel as if we aren’t complete, as if everything will be better as soon as we find Mr. or Mrs. Right. We feel that socially we are worse than others if we are not in a relationship.

The strangest thing about this whole concept is that I meet more and more singles. More and more lonely people. Some of them are quite successful in their career, some not, but the common trait between all of them – is that they feel lonely and worse than others. There are so many singles, they are now very big part of a society, but they still feel like they are outsiders.

Another common thing between singles is that they put their life on hold until the right person appears. Then everything is gonna be alright. Then they will live their life to the fullest!

I always wanted to have a life where I live on two continents. Where I often travel between two countries, or at least between city and seaside. Between megapolis apartment and a cottage in the middle of nature. In other words – I want to change the scenery often.

But I was waiting for Mr. Right to come around first. Then I can live like that. With him. I cant travel alone, can I? Too scary, too expensive, too boring.

2 days ago I met one nice girl on the social gathering. She lives my dream life. She lives in 2-3 countries in a year, escaping Europe winters in sunrays of Argentina. She is single too. But the funniest part is that… She wants to settle! But… She is waiting for Mr. Right in order to do so… She can’t settle without a man!!! Too boring, too lonely etc.

Funny, isn’t it?

It made me realize how often we put our lives on hold while waiting for The One. But he never comes.

How does my friend want to find a guy to settle with if she always travels? And how do I want to find I guy who loves traveling, if Im settled?

Also in a daily life, in the moments of despair and depression, I often say to myself: if only I had a partner, he would have supported me right now. He would have given me advice. He would have understood, calmed me down and told me that all is gonna be alright. And he would have definitely supported me with money while Im working on becoming a superstar 🙂

I haven’t even met him, but I am sure that his presence will make me happy and change my life – because hey, Im gonna live my dream life with him!!! I just have to wait for him a little longer.

I postponed my happiness to the times when He arrives. Not realizing that without even knowing his name – I already made an energetic pressure on him. Maybe this is why he doesn’t show up?

You might think in the same way, that as soon as you get relationship – your life will finally shape up and start going the way you’ve always wanted it to go.

But the problem is that you are an unhappy person, you are not satisfied with your life now, and you will take the “unhappy you” into your new relationship. And guess what? You won’t become happy. You will start demanding things from your partner which you are lacking, and if he doesnt fulfill them (what if he hates traveling??) – you gonna get disappointed, furious, and most probably, it won’t last long.

We do it not only in relationships. As soon as I get that job – Ill be happy. As soon as I buy that dress – I will feel beautiful. As soon as I lose weight – I will be loved. As soon as I get more likes – I will feel successful.

We postpone our happiness for later, and we cling to things and other people because of that. Of course, if your life’s contentment depends on it/him – you will always want to keep that thing or person with you! Don’t let him run! He will run together with your happiness! No person – no life.

So my advice to all singles, including myself, is to start living your life now. Release it from hold. You are already complete and whole, and you are capable of living fulfilling life now. Do the activities you’ve always wanted to do. Go to the places you’ve always wanted to go. Give yourself the words of support and wisdom you want to receive from a partner. If you wait until someone comes and gives you the life you’ve always wanted – you gonna wait very, very long.

Be content and happy with yourself now, and same content and happy person will surely enter your life before you even know it.

2 thoughts on “Being single: did you put your life on hold?

  1. It’s funny how I was just thinking about this the other day! I loved your positive spin on being single. I totally agree with finding your own happiness first and to utilize the time you have right now to do all the things that you’ve ever wanted to do. Time is short and everyone should live their life to the fullest if they can!
    Looking forward to read your future posts! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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