If you have been a right-handed person for your whole life, how long do you think it would take you to become left-handed?
If you have never been running before – how long it would take you to be able to run a marathon?
How long it took you to learn driving? How long it took to make it automatic?
How long it takes to learn a new language to a fluent, automatic level?
So how long do you think it will take you to learn to be happy if you’ve been grumpy and negative for years?
Everything in our life is a habit. If you were growing up believing that work should be hard – no doubts, you will work very hard as an adult.
If you believed that money is only for selected people – you will experience just this.
Your current life is produced by your subconscious programs. Look at the results you get right now. Realize that this is the exact expression of your beliefs.
You might think you want more money, or house, or amazing job, or love of your life. You truly want it, you say positive affirmations and do visualizations. But if for the rest of the day you are dwelling on how bad, not worthy, or failure you are – you won’t get any results. The Universe will bring you just that – confirmation of how “not good enough” you are.
You get not what your conscious mind thinks, you get what your subconscious mind is programmed for.
Garbage in – garbage out.
If you constantly think about your past failures, rejections, about how bad that person or that place is, how you never get anything good, and then you go and visualize your perfect future for 5 minutes – nothing gonna happen.
But as we’ve built negative habits over years – we can build the positive in the same way.
Being happy is one of such positive habits. It doesn’t just come when we achieve x,y,z. For even if we achieve something – we will quickly conclude that it must be a mistake, that we don’t deserve it. Because our old programming tells us – we are supposed to suffer. We are always unhappy. We are always not good enough. We will quickly lose that thing we achieved because it does not correspond to our self-image.
When we are children – our subconscious mind is empty. It has no programs. It is opened to anything.
And so parents start to fill it in. With your native language, with love and compassion, or with anger and hate. With encouragement or with a constant blame. They say that a child is fully programmed by the age of 4 or 5. After that – he is only reproducing these programs, slightly adjusting them on the way.
So if we didn’t receive a proper programming as children – we can reprogram ourselves now.
Happiness should be cultivated. Trained. Same as you go to the gym to have a strong body. If you haven’t exercised before – it will be difficult at first, you won’t see any results. The first weeks or months nobody can say that you are working out. But then, without even noticing, you realize that you are much stronger. Have more energy. And your body is finally shaping up the way you want it. But it doesn’t happen in a day or two.
It is the same with any mental habit. Being happy, successful, feeling good about yourself, feeling worthy – if you have never been practicing it before – it will take you time, discipline and persistence to get the first results.
Act as if you are happy. Screw it all, you are just happy! Act as you are confident and great. Tell yourself that you are really worthy. Keep saying it, feeling it, and keep visualizing your goals, and mainly – keep believing that it’s working.
And please do not beat yourself up if you dont get any results overnight, like:
– Look, everyone is achieving, but I can’t get anything. Of course, because that’s me! Nothing ever works for me!
Again, it is just a habit of always feeling like a failure. Another confirmation of your “not good enough” programming.
Fake it until you make it.
When you first went to the gym – you also faked it. You weren’t strong. But with repeating lifting moves – you convinced your mind that you must be really strong if you are able to do it. And so it adjusted your body to correspond to that image.
Visualize your goals. Then let them go and go throughout your day feeling happy and relaxed. Make it a daily habit, like cleaning your teeth every morning. As you practice these feelings – the Universe will bring you the confirmation of your happy state, in a form of your manifested desires.