Who Would You Be Without Your Story?
Who am I without the story I tell myself? Who am I without the need to suffer? Do I even know what it means? Do I know how it feels to live life without regrets, missing someone, worrying about something? Do I really know how it feels to feel free and relaxed?
I don’t know how to live without my story. I don’t know how am I suppose to feel if I don’t regret past mistakes, ex lovers, lost opportunities or wrong choices. I don’t know what to think about if I don’t have to worry.
I don’t know how it feels not to suffer.
I’m so used to it. If it’s not about ex, then about the job, if not the job – then boss. If not boss – then income. If not income – then health. If not health – then friendship. If not friendship – then ex.
If nobody is hurting me now – I will worry about someone who might hurt me later. If I have enough money now – I will worry about not having money in the future. And if that won’t help – I will worry about not having enough clothes. If I buy new clothes – I have to worry about choosing wrong cosmetics. If I choose good cosmetics – I will worry about running late.
I always find a way to keep my story going. Because who am I without it?
Without it – it’s someone else. It’s someone who is happy with her pretty clothes and tons of cosmetics. Who has enough money for all that she needs. Someone who appreciates all the romance she experienced. Who had close, wonderful friendships. Who always had a friendly working environment. Someone who lives in a beautiful city. Adores her family. Enjoys singing. Loves writing.
But that’s someone else. Some other girl who tells herself a different story. I think it’s time to ask her out on a date.