Why some people procrastinate and some are high achievers? What is the difference? Do achievers have more brain cells? More hands? Or perhaps some fairy had blessed them with a talent when they were born?
Why there are geniuses? World champions? Riches? Why there are homeless? Drug addicts? Criminals? And why the biggest percentage is in between – mediocre?
Procrastination – it’s not being lazy. Laziness does not exist.
We don’t wanna do something if we don’t see the point of doing it.
You wouldn’t procrastinate shaving and dressing up to go on a date with that dream-girl, would you?
If you like traveling – you wouldn’t procrastinate packing and waking up at 4 am to catch the flight?
You wouldn’t procrastinate to get up from sofa and line up in the queue in the cinema to watch the movie you’ve been waiting for so long?
These things require an effort too. And you are not being lazy for them.
Why is it so?
There are 4 reasons why we procrastinate.
1. You don’t think in terms of end result
You might think you need to go to the gym because all your friends go. But you are actually okay with your weight or health. You might think you need to study the new language every day. But you are okay with not speaking that language. You feel the need for it only because everyone else speaks 2/3/6 languages and you dont.
Be okay with being okay where you are. Really, you don’t need to lose weight only because everyone else is obsessed with it. You don’t need to learn a new language because all your friends do. Please remove the need to do something in order “to catch up with others”. It will only create useless feeling of guilt, but you wont be able to achieve great results, if any.
2. You don’t believe you can achieve the end result
If you do have a clear goal – lose 5 kilos to feel more beautiful, or speak that language fluently – but you still don’t do it – it’s because you don’t believe you can.
You’ve been unsuccessfully trying diets. You have failed at English exam. Nothing ever worked for you in general.
I have slow metabolisms! I am bad at languages! I have never achieved anything in my life! It’s so hard to achieve it! And why now? It definitely won’t work. So why would I even try?
If thats you – then change your self-talk. Stop saying that losing weight is hard. Stop saying that it’s impossible to achieve fluency in foreign language. Say that it’s easy. Say that it will work. Imagine yourself as a fluent speaker. Imagine yourself as thin as a flower. Keep seeing your goal and saying that – Oh it so going to work out for me.
3. You dont feel worthy of your goal
You might think that you want that guy or girl. You might even fantasize about you being together. You might think you want that job. And maybe you imagine how cool and bossy you are at the new job.
But can you really feel your dream? Not just an empty fantasy, but actually feel being thin? Or loved? Or beautiful? Or rich? Do you have an immediate resistance when you try it?
– That doesnt feel real!
Deep down you might not believe you are good enough to have what you want. You are still running an old programming where everyone else is better than you, or that you need to be a super-human in order to deserve good things.
There is no evaluation system which says that Brad Pitt can have it all and you can’t.
Deservabilty is trained in us by our parents and relatives when we are children. But it doesn’t have to be that way anymore. You can set your own standard which says that you deserve it all too. Just because you want.
4. The gap between now and then seems enormous
So you’ve got a goal, believed you can have it, got inspired for action, and you started right away! Then you looked at the result of your first step, compared to the end result, and … you realized how huge the gap is, how talented and great are the masters in this area, and what a miserable beginner you are.
The weight of that gap is so heavy, that it’s much easier to just drop the whole thing.
– Never wanted it anyway.
What should you do?
Realize that you are overthinking it. That gap you see now – is the how and when. The means of achieving. It is not your job. The Universe’s got it covered.
Your job is to keep that vision in your mind and make a first, far-from-perfect, baby step. Receive first success, ignore first(and hundredth) failure. Take another step. Hold that vision. Take a step. Come back to that vision each time you feel overwhelmed by the size of a gap. And then take another step.
Keep your eye on the end goal and the step which is in front of you. Ignore everything else. And you will get there.
Nobody is lazy by nature. I used to procrastinate and beat myself up for that. For not learning programming, for not being interested in technology progress and politics, for enjoying drawing but never actually drawing, for not being as good as those high achievers. Until I realized that there are things which I simply dont want to do. And things which I dont believe I can do. Things which I seem not to deserve to have. Things which only “kids from good families” are entitled to have.
Understand that everything in life comes down to your beliefs. If you dont believe you are worthy or capable of having something – this is exactly what you will get.
Change your self-talk and say:
– Hell, yes! This is what I want! And this is what Im going to get! Because all those famous and great people got it! So can I.
They dont have more brain cells or more hands. The did not have a gift from a fairy. They just grew up in a supportive environment, where everyone believed that they can. Or they started to believe in it later.
It’s your time to believe in yourself. You too, can have it all.