Few years ago hiring a life/career/spiritual coach sounded to me like a craziest idea ever. Who the hell are they anyway? Why would I ever pay money for something so weird? How they can help me? They just promote themselves as super successful but in fact they are just bulshiting and simply want to “steal” my money.
But as my life became more unbearable, I knew I have to do something I’ve never done before, if I wanted different results. So last summer I signed up for career coaching course for the first time.
Then I had also two spiritual coaches.
And now Im about to sign up for another coaching program.
My life has changed. I would not say that it’s all thanks to coaches, but their support, experience and understanding surely had helped me a lot.
There are few things to consider before deciding if you really need a coach and which one to choose.
1. If you expect that coach will change your life – you are not ready.
A teacher gives you the tools. General tools. Which he or she applied in her life first, but which you have to interpret and apply in your own way. (S)he puts you at the start of your journey, gives you the tools and a kick to the ass. The rest is up to you.
2. Teacher is the oldest occupation ever.
Teachers and trainers are everywhere – at schools, universities, in sports, in gym, at the offices – we always need a coach if we are just starting out.
Changing your personality, career or life in general – is absolutely the same process of learning. You can learn all by yourself. But it will take you much more time and energy.
3. Choose a coach who had the same or similar life experience.
Don’t choose someone because (s)he is famous or successful. Of course, feedback from his previous clients matters , but this should not be the main decision factor.
If the person did not struggle with the same type of problems, did not grow up in similar conditions – she won’t understand you. Think about a friend who never had her heart broken. Or who never had an illness or accident which you did. You tell her how painful that is, how much you struggle, and you seek her support and understanding. But all you get is her withdrawal: she is annoyed by your pain.
People don’t understand someone’s pain if they didn’t walk a mile in the same shoes.
You get to choose your tribe, and that includes a life coach too.
Find the one which resonates: Omg, it’s exactly how I feel now!
4. Apply the tools no matter how simplistic they look.
All the techniques might seem too weird or simple at first. They may not seem to work. They might not look as life changers.
Nevertheless, they worked for that coach and his coachees. They will work for you too, if you only commit to apply them daily.
It’s like learning to ride a bike or drive a car. Or to swim, or to fight. The moves you start with look simplistic and dont look like those of famous racers or world fighters. And you might even have thoughts – how the hell this will ever lead me to mastery?
But you just keep working on it. And when you reach a certain level – you start adjusting those tools according to your needs. You start creating new ones. You start building your own style.
I hope that helps and makes this whole “life coach” idea not so scary!(as it looked to me in the past)