Fear of loss: the real reason why we settle

Fear is the only obstacle on the way to our success. Fear of failure, of success, of rejection. The root of all of them is one very basic instinct – fear of loss. We worry that if we try to reach for something better – we will fail, and at the same time lose what we already have. Lose that person,  or that secure job,  or that income, or that house.

Fear of loss is what forces us to stay in toxic or dead relationships. At unfulfilling jobs and in ugly cities.

What if I leave him/her/it – and will never find new? Will I be forever alone? With no money? Will I have to work at even worse job? In uglier city?

Fear of losing something we already posses is much stronger than a dream of gaining something better.

And so we cling. We convince ourselves that “I can live with it”. “It’s not so bad”. “Everyone on my place would be happy to have it”. And we postpone our dreams to “better times”. Until we wake up at the age of 80-90 and realize that now we truly have no strength and health to make our dreams come true.

There is no better time than now to start living. To risk. To try. To fail and start over from scratch.

To start loving yourself so much that you finally stop identifying yourself with the job and money you posses. That you value yourself enough to demand your dreams while not having any significant achievements behind your shoulders.

Is it really better to have it “not so bad” than to go experience life in all its forms? Is it really better to suffer in any kind of relationships than not to have them at all?

Is it really better not to know what you could have achieved if you at least tried? Is it really better to get old and to realize that your biggest achievement in life was to play safe?

Every time when I ended unsatisfying relationship – I felt an enormous freedom. Despite fear of unknown. Despite comfort of known. Despite living in a foreign country and having low salary and mainly relying on the income of my fiancee, with nobody else to support me in any way – I left. And I survived.

And yesterday I finally quit my job. For the first time in 10 years I quit without having a plan. Because suffering from “not so bad” overcame fear of unknown. It overcame logical reasoning for not quitting.

I thought I will worry. I thought I will panic. I thought I will never do it. But now that I quit – I feel so confident that I never felt before. I feel free. I feel happy.

I feel that Im in control of my life. That I get to chose what I dont want, and so to realize what I do want.

I might struggle from now on. I might not have enough money to survive. But I don’t regret my desicion.

What if I do get the life I dream of? What if all works out for me? What if the path unfolds as I move forward?

How will I know if I never try?

I decided to take a chance and challenge life. And see what it really has to offer. And I’ve never felt more confident about my decision. Never felt so excited.

I don’t even have my next job in mind – and Im already starting to love my life.

My heart is beating. I breathe. I walk. Im healthy. As long as I have all those – I can get everything else.

I am free.

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