I will rather not live than live a mediocre life

Here, I said it.

Despite common concept of being grateful for where you are, I said it.

Despite really being grateful for many nice things in my life – I still said it.

And I will say it again:

I will rather stop living my life than continue hating Mondays.

I will rather be single till the end of my life than again settle for anyone below my standards.

I sincerely prefer not to live at all than to continue living in unhappiness and realization that there is so much more this planet has to offer, but Im too afraid to reach out.

And so I said that and I made a first baby step, which shocked everyone around me. My friends tried to talk me out of it. Bring up very good reasons not to do it. But I still did it.

No, I did not quit my job. But I asked to be employed part-time. From March I will be working just half a day in my corporation. For half of money, of course.

Why?

Because I want to love Mondays. And Tuesdays too. And all other days. Not to live for evenings and weekends. Not to just go out and treat myself with good food or healthy smoothie and be satisfied with it. And cover up a whole wasted day.

To wake up energized, excited and happy. To LOVE my life and everything in it.

I want to start building my life the way I want it. And live to the fullest.

What is my plan?

I don’t have a plan.

And I know how it sounds.

This girl, has read those articles about how people quit their jobs and decided she can do it too, and thinks it will be all cool and pink and easy…

Partially it’s true. I got inspired by all the people who changed their lives at the age of 25, 30, 50 and more.

But partially it was my intuition. I had an inner voice simply screaming at me, and it did not calm down until I made that request.

I am worried. I don’t know what I am doing. But I do know that to get different results – I have to do something different from what I’ve been doing for the last 10 years.

On the other hand the step is not that big. I still keep my job and I can come back to full time if I want to. Or find another corporate job.

But something tells me that I won’t…

What am I going to do for those extra 4 hours daily?

Im going to dedicate them to self-care. Healing my body and mind. Meditations and sport. Doing things which I truly enjoy – writing, learning new language, and singing, singing, singing. Im planning to spend most of the hours singing.

Maybe by the time March comes around – I will even decide to quit completely. Because even going part-time sometimes seems not strong enough to turn my life around. But being unemployed in a foreign country with no backup income scares a hell out of me. But at some point we must take a leap of faith if we really want a breakthrough.

So I don’t know what’s gonna happen next. I only know that I want to stop settling. And I know that I want to love Mondays.

 

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