Before I ever touched spirituality and believed in God – I was living in constant stress, anxiety and a world-victim state. I always felt empty, like “something is missing”, nothing could really bring me pure joy and full satisfaction. I could always sense a hole inside of me, but as many other people – I was ignoring and numbing it with alcohol, parties, and changing boyfriends.
And as many other people I started to wake up after major personal breakdown – my greatest love left me without any explanations, while I thought that we are just about to take off in our relationships.
This heartbreak was my soul wake-up call. I went trough deepest pain ever . I had the longest depression I ever had. I could feel emotional pain even physically, and there seemed to be no way out.
It was the time when I started to pray to God(or just any power “out there”) and asking for relief. It was the beginning of new me and of new understanding of the world.
Im getting new ideas and insights daily. I receive answers to all my questions, one by one, in perfect divine order.
Last night was one of such aha-moments.
I always heard expressions “let go of control”, “enjoy the moment”, “be present”. But I couldn’t really grasp the real meaning of it.
What do you mean by let go of control? I don’t control anything! I don’t come to that guy I like and force him to be with me! I don’t go to my boss and force him to give me raise/promotion! What do they all mean by using this fuzzy expression “just let it go and enjoy the moment” ??? How can I even enjoy the moment if I have to figure out what this all means??
And that was exactly the moment when it hit me:
That’s the point! I want to receive some outcome, and trying to figure out how to get there with my mind! I am convinced that if I stop thinking about it for a while – the whole world will fall apart and it will be a disaster! And if I think long enough – I will have it all clear! I don’t have time to enjoy my soft bed Im lying in – I have to consider ALL possible outcomes, all possible failures, and all ways to get there!! I have to be prepared!
A lot of energy and time waste. Here is the moment when it comes to faith and trust in unseen. Here is the moment when we should “let go”: stop ourselves from destructive overthinking and TRUST that divine power will guide us trough, as smooth as possible.
But we are not used to trust. We don’t even trust ourselves, or our loved ones, how can we possibly trust something so delusional as “divine power”? What if He fails? What if we trust but He forgets all about us and it will all crash and burn??
Well. You have to take a risk. A leap of faith. Nobody can give you any guarantees, you just have to jump with your eyes closed and see what happens.
The good news is that Law of attraction makes no mistakes and works with us every moment of our life.
When we take that leap of faith – let go of trying to figure it all out, switch our attention to the current moment and believe that it will be resolved in the best possible way – all of a sudden we realize that nothing has crashed. Life goes on, but in much easier mode.
And as we do it once – we attract more of it. We attract more trust and more proofs.
Trying something new always feels awkward and uncomfortable. Trying to drive a car, a bike, trying new food or meeting new people – whatever is out of our comfort zone will feel scary and weird at first. But as we push trough these first moments – our comfort zone expands, and new things become our new reality.
There are no guarantees, no security, and no certainty. You’ll never be 100% ready. You will always have doubts, fear and desire to hold on to old, familiar limitations.
All you have is that little voice inside of you that guides you to new things and new places. And a free will whether to trust in unseen and follow your heart or to stay where you are and make no progress.
And there is no right or wrong choice. There is just level of your desire to experience life.