More than 2 years ago I dated a man who later broke my heart and moved to another city without saying a word.
8 months ago I moved to that city too and I was still hanging on the idea of reuniting with him after 2 years. I was unable to move on.
My subconscious mind was desperately trying to justify this phenomena of being stuck on someone for more than 2 years. Simultaneously I started to grow spiritually, I’ve read a lot of books, articles, meditated for hours and signed up for hundreds of spiritual newsletters.
No wonder I came across the term of “twin flames”. I started to read about it for days. It resonated with my story so much! Strong attraction, push-pull, runner-chaser, synchronicities, similarities, feeling like the time stops, like you can read each other’s mind, having new relationships at the same time during separation – you name it. I found each and every sign of twin flame union which I could read about in those articles.
This made me believe that we are meant to be together. That it’s destiny, and after he runs for a while and heals his wounds – he will be back. I was so sure about it that I couldn’t overcome the desire to contact him after 2 years of silence.
We’ve met again. We “dated” for a week. And then he silently left. Again.
I was down, desperate and deeply hurt. But I still believed he will be back!! He is my twin runner, he must be back!
Few months passed – not a word. I still believe in him and our connection. I tried to move on and date other people – they all fall apart immediately.
Hey, but this is another twin flame sign! Right on! You can’t move on and be happy with other people! If you are in real twin flame relationship – you won’t be able to move on.
Yeey! That’s him! He is coming back!
Days of strong belief overtaken by days of despair. Constant back-and-forth thinking. I started doubting my sanity.
Few emotional breakdowns, few more books, talks and articles. More self-love, self-acceptance and prayers to God. And Im finally finding peace.
I do believe in spiritual beings, soul mates and soul contracts. I do believe that we arrange our meetings in advance before coming to this life. We plan who, where and when will help us grow.
I believe that you simply can’t ignore the connection you feel. And that is exactly why it triggers you to grow. If we don’t care about someone – we easily let them go. But when we love and then we are rejected – we start to question life and pray for relief from pain. And only then we transform.
I believe that the concept of Twin flames exists for the purpose of soul’s growth too. After all, the whole life’s purpose is to come together to co-create and co-grow. So our Higher self, or God, will come up with new ideas how to accelerate that ascension.
If I hadn’t believed in reuniting with my twin- I would not try so hard on loving and accepting myself. I would not try to grow and change in order to be in alignment with pure love.
We create our world based on our beliefs. So if we believe in twin flames – it means that it’s real. And it’s okay to believe in what we want to.
But it’s not okay to get completely suck out and consumed by this. Reuniting with my twin was my only life goal. Dreaming about physical union but at the same time not beleiving it – drained all my energy and made me feel unworthy, powerless and empty.
And this is not okay.
Our purpose on this planet is to grow and help others to grow. To enjoy life, to be happy, to love ourselves and others.
And anything what makes us feel less than that – is not okay and has to be eliminated. Whether it’s a twin flame, soul mate or your own self – if it drags you down – it has to be changed, healed, or simply removed from your life.
Twin flame or not, nobody should have such power over you. You waste your energy and time on something very illusive, while you can spend it on bringing your gifts and talents to this world.
Twin flame or not, no person can ever love you if you are only obsessed with him and his love to you.
I prayed to God for days and weeks to help me to forgive that man and release him to the Holy Spirit. I prayed for learning the lesson and letting him go.
And today I received the relief and answers to prayers.
I can move on. And I am glad it’s over with him. I am very thankful for the gift of enormous growth which he gave me. But perhaps he can’t give me more.
Twin flame or not, I deserve to be happy.